Husband snores, wife awake

Enjoying a night of uninterrupted,  peaceful,  sleep should be a right,  and not a privilege.  However, in our house, a silent night is a rare occurrence indeed.

As I do most nights, I watch the stars flicker in the sky while sitting at my desk late at night.  It’s a great way to relax my body and mind  as I prepare for blissful sleep.  Then, it suddenly happens.  The unavoidable slice through the silence.  It jars me back to full clarity; sounds as though a freight train will appear any second from under my desk.  There is, of course, no train.  The cause of the chaos is the collective snores of a few Cavalier King Charles spaniels.

In their basket beneath my desk, all six of my dogs curl together in peaceful slumber.  These are no common dogs, but a wonderful breed, small in size, with a short muzzle.  They are heartbreakingly cute, but deafening noisy when they all start to snooze and snore at the same time.  And snore they all do; every one of them.  It is caused by the way they turn their necks to tuck their heads in.  The airway becomes obstructed, and the rumble begins.  The only way to stop the snoring is to straighten their necks out.  I would do it, however, they look so cute.  I simply can’t bring myself to disturb them.

And now,  it’s off to bed.  I cozy up to my partner, only to notice that he’s settled down with a bedtime snack: sliced cheese, buttered toast, and a glass of warm milk.  I can hear it now; in about one hour, the snoring will be loud enough to shatter windows, and surely shatter my dreams of a good nights’ sleep.  Dairy products are certainly not a smart nighttime snack for anyone who snores.  Perhaps there’s room to sleep in one of the kids’ rooms.

The mouth breather of the family,  my teenage daughter,  is already sawing logs.  I gently wake her; just enough for her to put on the chin-up strip that helps her to sleep with her mouth closed, and prevents her snoring.  My son sleeps in the nearby room.  Another natural snorer, he has a Continuous Positive Air Pressure system, or CPAP, next to his bed.  He hates wearing the device, so naturally, it’s on the floor.  I give him a soft wake-up push and help him put on the CPAP.  Throughout the night, it will provide a steady flow of oxygen, helping him to breath easier, and quieter.

By this time though,  I’m wide-awake.  Tip-toeing to the kitchen, I happen to bump into my mother.  Dad and mom are visiting for several days, and Dad’s a hearty snorer himself.  Like many men, he is stubborn and declines to try nasal strips or any of the other devices that are available to help alleviate snoring.  Mom is also seeking for a quiet place to sleep, and so we each fix our husbands a cup of honey and warm water, hoping to quiet the snores.

I take the tea back to my bedroom and attempt to maneuver my husband onto his side, where he’ll be far less likely to snore. Perhaps if I can catch a few quiet moments before he flips back over, it will be just enough time for me to slip away into that peaceful, elusive sleep.   Okay, good night!

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